alt_draco: (Default)
Hey-

There's something I've been wondering, and you two are the best people I can ask, because I know you're both sentimental about Sirius for different (albeit related) reasons.

Ellie leaped in front of Sirius so he could live, and near as I can tell, that's the only reason he's here now.

Are you glad about that? I mean, I know you aren't happy Ellie's dead, obviously, but when it comes right down to it, would you rather she be dead and Sirius be alive, instead of the reverse?
alt_draco: (Default)
It's a good thing that 12 Grimmauld is hidden. I've been spending a lot of time staring out the window, even though it's not really like me to sit at windows, staring out. There's a bakery across the street. It seems to be popular, though I've never tried any of their bread or pastry. I don't think I would have eaten there before, because it's not a bakery I've heard of, and not the sort of bakery that most of my mates would go to. But now I keep wishing I could walk over and get a croissant, or something. It would probably be a terrible croissant, but that wouldn't matter. I know I could probably ask Kreacher to walk over and get me one, but that's not really the point. I want it to be me who walks over there, who goes inside and buys a terrible croissant.

Of all the ideas we've discussed, I think the only one that will work is for me to die. My parents need to believe I'm dead. If there's a way for them to think I died loyal, that would be even better, but I don't know if it's possible now. Things will be better for them if it looks as if I were trying to get back to them to tell them all I knew, and got killed along the way.

Better for them temporarily, that is.

And then, after that, I might leave New London. I don't feel like I fit in at Sherwood or Moddey, but that's rather the point.

I've been wondering if part of the reason I wanted to join the Council wasn't because I was oh-so certain I could be useful as a double agent, but because it would mean that my life would be disrupted as little as possible. I would be able to eat at the best restaurants, get invited to the best parties, wear the best robes... I could pretend that I was the dutiful son my parents wanted me to be.

That's not an option any more. None of it is. And sitting in what is essentially my ancestral home, staring out the window, isn't really, either. Yet I keep doing it.

Alright. I don't know what else.
alt_draco: (certainly sharp)
I thought you should know that Teddy commented on your "unusually bright" demeanor today, even going so far as to suggest that Raz must have accidentally smiled at you when he passed you in the corridors. I told him that Harry had leant you out to Madam Pince to repair books, and that the glue must have addled your head.

I don't have to tell you that you're lucky that he made his observations to me, and not to Blaise or Vince or someone else who would have encouraged his speculations. His macabre sort of intrigue in you doesn't seem to have waned despite Harry's interference - who knows, knowing Teddy, it might have even made it even stronger.
alt_draco: (darkly discerning)
I've been meaning to tell you both about a few things that happened over Hols. On the night of the Gala, Teddy told me that Ned Pennifold made it clear to him that the Lord Protector is keeping an eye out for more young recruits to the council. You know how Teds is, though - I couldn't be sure it wasn't a brag or a trap, so I let it lie. But then, at Blaison on Sunday morning, before Daphs and I went to Kings Cross, Alfred Montague told me that his brother, Jason, told him the same thing: start proving your worth, the Lord Protector is watching.

Harry, if your Father is casting his net over Hogwarts, then I'm going to make myself into a fish he can't refuse.

On Saturday I more or less implied to my Father that I will be distancing myself from him publicly. Though we didn't speak of his slipping social position directly, he knew why I was warning him. He told me that he didn't want me to put myself in danger to save him, and when I pointed out to him that I've never really not been in danger, he argued that I didn't need to put myself in the Lord Protector's service so completely. He made it clear that the last thing he wants is for me to bind myself to the Lord Protector.

After a time, I think he saw that he couldn't sway me, and he said that whatever I do, don't do it for my family's standing.

Of course, he thinks that's exactly why I'm doing it.

I think it's time I ask Snape if it's possible for him to train me in legilimency.
alt_draco: (seriously statuesque)
Hermione, we're back in New London. I don't know if you've heard, but Mother will have to be Hydra's chaperone for the remainder of the summer, so we've had to cut our holiday short. Shame it had to happen before Barty Crouch made one of his "surprise arrivals" at the weekend to liven up the party.

That's not so important, though. Father's informed me that Yaxley put in some kind of request to access my Private Messages. He didn't get what he wanted - Father said he could be looking for anything, be it indiscretions, family secrets, or whatnot. And while Father didn't necessarily say as much I don't imagine that Yaxley has any grudge against me. It's more politics and jockeying for power, no doubt. Still, if he had got his eyes on our writings...well, I shan't finish that unlovely thought. Hardly worth it, is it? Terrible things would have happened... Odd how a person can almost get used to living with a certain kind of constant uncertainty.

Anyway, I already told Harry about all of this, but you ought to know, too. I thought it was Auntie Bella we'd have to be worried about, but I ought to have known she would have shouldered the journals onto somebody else. Hopefully, the Aurors can keep Yaxley out. Better yet, perhaps someone will squash him permanently - and soon.

Also.

I've been thinking about what Hydra's told me about her father - how he must have tracked her or spied on her with one of his devices.

Now, what a lucky thing that it was only her virtue in question, and not her loyalty.

My parents aren't invasive as Hydra's, fortunately, but nevertheless it's a turn of events that, paired with Yaxley's inquiry, has convinced me more than ever that I must maintain an impeccable charade of tow-row-row. Harry, I'll be going to the next Slytherin social, no matter who hosts it. I reckon I'll take Daphs along as my plus-one again, since it worked well enough last time. Might be good if you made an appearance now and then, too. Or else I can tell everyone that you're very busy working closely with your "Dad," if you prefer - that'd certainly stop any questions.
alt_draco: (seriously statuesque)
So who of us has been invited to CCF camp? I already know that Harry and I have been, and Daphs told me yesterday that she was in, too.

I wonder what sort of excitement is in store for us this time around.

Harry, you missed an utterly posh gathering at Avery's yesterday. Plenty of drinks, food, music, and games. No deep topics of conversation whatsoever. It was restful, in a way.
alt_draco: (literally lost)
So. By my count I have less than a week to prepare myself to face Father and Mother as a new, twice-made traitor. Granted, it isn't the first time I'll be lying to their faces, but it's never been about something quite so big as this.

How strange to think that in one fell swoop I could tell them everything I know and bring MLE down on everyone.

And now I know that Father's "star seems to be falling." Of course, I can't ask about that without them wondering how I even know that in the first place. I already know what answer they'll give me, anyway.

Tell me then, what are you two most looking forward to when you get back to Buckingham? Aside from the fabulous parties, of course.
alt_draco: (absurdly off-guard)
Harry and I took the cloak to Bumbridge's office. We were in the middle of ransacking the place when my Father showed up with Professor Dolohov and Crouch. Now they're ransacking the place.

In case further explanation is required:

- Cloak, barely large enough to fit both of us these days.
- Budged up against a cupboard that they're probably going to search, eventually.
- Do I need to say more?
alt_draco: (indeed indifferent)
The way I understand it, not everyone wants me here and as far as I'm concerned that's just fine, since I'm not exactly thrilled to be included, either. I haven't asked to be obliviated primarily because the access to absolute secret communication is too much to give up, and also because despite the fact that he is completely rubbish at pretending to be a Slytherin, I do trust Harry's judgement and instincts. Seems you all do, too. So, there's that.

Still, he's really the only one I do trust now, and I'm sharing a 'secret' with this group only because it's a requirement and because, as I understand it, I'll now be able to go back and read everything you've ever written. I think the fact that I'll be able to see that should create discomfort that's roughly equal to what I feel in sharing a secret with people I don't trust and, in some cases, don't particularly care for.

So, here it is.

I've known about Sirius Black and his big shaggy dog form for yonks, and I've never told anyone. I've known the truth about Harry's family for yonks, and I've never told anyone. I've lied to both my parents' faces while feeling tremendous guilt for it and they've never been the wiser. I've made pleasant conversation with my Aunt Bellatrix, who's been trying to figure Black's animagus form out for ages, and haven't given her even the barest hint. I know first hand how the Lord Protector likes to punish children but I've secretly helped Harry and Hermione to defy him anyway, because he's a mad man and I really don't much fancy mad people. Especially when they get to run things.

So, does that satisfy?
alt_draco: (slightly scrutinising)
So did you end up lending the cloak out to Hydra? And did she finally tell you what she wanted it for?

Seems a bit odd, wanting to use it while most of the castle is out at Hogsmeade for the day.

Granger, don't suppose she said anything to you?
alt_draco: (only observing)
Harry, I know I was non-committable on Hydra's invitation yesterday, mostly because I still don't much fancy the idea of having tea in some ramshackle Camden shop with a relation I scarcely know, but see here, I've had second thoughts. I think we ought to go.

Do you think you can get leave from Buckingham? And bring Granger? I have something else to give to her, but if you don't think you should bring her then I suppose I'll just give it to you to give to her.
alt_draco: (stunningly slytherin)
Okay, I've been looking at this thing all day waiting for something to happen. I know you said it was for secret messages, Harry, but what sort, exactly?

Are we meant to use it to take the mick on Bumbridge behind her (huge) back?

Or - Granger, since you helped come up with it, does that mean were meant to use it to summon her to us with fresh biccies and tea and things?

No, somehow I doubt that.

So Pansy's got one and Sally Anne and Hydra and who all else, exactly?
alt_draco: (stunningly slytherin)
So Harry's going to be off with Raz today - they're going to talk quidditch and supposedly Siz will be there, too. I was invited along, but if you're free today then I'd rather spend that time with you.

Plus, it might do Harry good to go off with Raz on his own. He's kind of odd and edgy this term; I think my habit of worrying finally rubbed off on him and I'm not sure that's a good thing. Or maybe it's just that he's so used to have something really clear and specific to focus his worries on, like escapees from Azkaban, or Tri-Wizard tournaments, that he doesn't know what to do without them.

Yesterday was wiz, yeah? Too bad I put all my galleons on Dolohov.
alt_draco: (subtly sly)
Do you reckon that Professor Dolohov's and Razzer's demonstration will be a true duel where one of them will be declared the winner?

Because if so, it might be the sort of thing worth placing a gentleman's bet on. I can think of a number of others who'd be interested, as well.

But I don't want to be the one who organises the whole thing. Too bad Avery's gone, he'd be perfect. What about Montague? I'd peg him for game. Or might it be a venture that you're interested in, Blaise?
alt_draco: (intently innocent)
Just a reminder to all the quidditchers I got in touch with: we're meeting at 09:00 at Malfoy Manor tomorrow morning for our first Quidditch Club meeting. Bring your gear and your brooms - after Harry goes through the agenda we'll have a scrimmage and then, just after 13:00, we'll break for a light luncheon.

If anyone can make it to New London on Friday afternoon, we'll be having our first meeting of the Junior Society for the Improvement of New London. It'll be a picnic lunch on Hampstead Heath, and then we'll walk around the Heath and pick up rubbish and mend loose fence posts. Let Harry know if you can make it, and which sandwich you would prefer: cheese and cress, cold chicken, or potted shrimps.

On Saturday afternoon the Culinary Appreciation Club will be meeting to try out a new Burmese restaurant that's just opened near Hyde Park. Let Harry know if you're interested - he'll need to know by Thursday to make the reservation. Also, the restaurant owner wanted to be sure that everyone is well aware that Burmese food is on the spicy side and that no, it's not "just like curry."

On Sunday afternoon the Avid Art-Goers are catching a matinee performance of Hex and Dodge! at the Lyceum. The theatre manager can only reserve eight seats, so let Harry known straight away if you would like to attend and Daphs wil he will be sure to add you to the list.

Let's see... I know there will be some other events going on next week, too, but I'll be on the YPL trip and won't be able to attend. But yeah, the Investigators of Ghostly Phenomenon might hold a seance at 50 Berkeley Street, and the History Club will be checking out the new Protectorate Collection (if not next week then likely the week after). Just let Harry know what you're interested in and he'll take care of the rest.
alt_draco: (smugly smiling)
Hey - I was catching up on my journal and noticed that Pansy wrote to both you and my Father last night.

You're making plans for my birthday, aren't you?

So, what's it going to be then? And look, no offense, but Pansy's usually good at this sort of thing, so just let her take lead, yeah?

Oh, but if you could dissuade her from inviting Longbottom, I'd appreciate it. I suppose Weasley would be alright, but Longbottom never contributes anything, just sits there like that blinking toad of his. It's entirely unnerving.
alt_draco: (fabulously focused)
May I see you tonight, or do you have some oddball tea party that requires moustaches? Because we don't have duelling club, you know. And my homework can wait.

Because I really would like to see you.

Do you remember when it was that you first started to realise that your Mother was imperfect? I think you must have been young. I remember when we were just firsties, you would write about how Rosa was a drunk. I was so scandalised at the time - though that was back when I was very easily scandalised, mind. Looking back now, though, I think you must have matured a great deal earlier than I did (though I suppose it wasn't precisely mature to write about your Mother's drinking in the journals where everyone could see).

Father and I are having a row. It's somewhat about you, but he doesn't even realise it. Really been paying attention, hasn't he? Not that I particularly want him to start doing so...because when he does, he insists on controlling everything and having a say in every little thing I do. And if he doesn't like what I'm doing or saying, he has this way of just diminishing it. It's as if I can feel him laughing at me through the ink...

I mean, I suppose I'm glad I don't have Harry's Father, instead.

There's that, at least.
alt_draco: (bitingly bewildered)
Sure loves to hear himself talk, that one. All that rot about teachers not noticing and taking action when it came to Finch-Fletchley, when really, if Finch-Fletchley had been taught any sort of decent lessons in dark arts or practical dueling, he would have been able to defend himself properly. But that one can't seem to fathom that when some bastard is coming at you with a deadly hex, your first thought probably isn't going to be about the "cultural structures" or "coercive powers" that made the bastard that way, but how to get him out of your face, and quickly. Sorry, but I'll hex first, think about the rest later.

And that bit about "inventing justification for deeds to the point of absurdity?" I don't know, but it reminded me of when we were five or six, Harry. Remember, they were still restoring Buckingham and parts of it were closed off to everyone, even you. And it was the first time my Father ever Cruciated me.

Granger, you weren't there then, so I'll explain. I'm talking about those semi-state rooms in the lower levels - I'm pretty sure that they're so heavily warded now that no one but Harry's Father can get into them, but back then they still didn't have everything set up, so all we knew was that if we wandered into that area, we'd get into terrible trouble.

So of course, that's exactly what we did. Harry wanted to explore and I was perfectly happy to go along with that sort of thing, back then. We ended up playing green ghost in some kind of trophy room, and I was wearing the blanket and Harry was hiding somewhere. I was bumbling around, blind as anything, and I tripped into a display case. A glass goblet fell over inside and smashed to pieces. It must have set off some kind of alarm spell, because we were trying to put the goblet back together when Yaxley caught us. Bloody nightshade, he scared me down to my toes back then. Still does, if I'm honest.

He marched us both off to the Lord Protector's chambers and both of our Fathers were clearly annoyed at being interrupted. There was a lot of questioning and hard words like "How could you be so disobedient?" Between that and Yaxley's dark expression, it was all terrible enough. But then, when the Lord Protector said that I needed to be punished for both of us, my Father almost seemed...well, I didn't know what to call it then, but I think "shocked" is what I'd call it now. Just that by the expression on his face I didn't expect him to do what he ended up doing. I thought he might pick me up and take me out of there - I even remember being sad, Harry, thinking I might not be able to play with you again for a long time.

But he didn't pick me up and take me out of there. Instead he sat me in the middle of the room and he Cruciated me.

I don't have to tell you how horrible it was. Well, not you at least, Granger. But the pain and the shakes and the tremors, none of it compared to how awful it felt to know that my own Father had just done that to me. And a few nights later I was crying to Mother about just that, and she said that Father had done it because he wanted to spare me what the Lord Protector would do to me if he hadn't.

I didn't believe it for a long time. But I believe it now. And my Father wasn't just inventing justification... there was, in fact, someone else who would have enjoyed it more, would have been more cruel, more vicious, and would have felt less remorse. No remorse, actually.

I don't know. I don't know what to say about "breaking the cycle" (and neither does that one, apparently - never gives a set of instructions, does he?). But it's pointless to sit and ponder change and the future when there are more important things bearing down now. There is no way out of anything when you're a kid.

So, what are you going to do when my Father expects you to cruciate Granger at the second task, Harry? Are you going to be able to do it?

Seems odd that so much of his post is relevant to that very question.
alt_draco: (Default)
Did you know that Cho Chang was seeing Cedric Diggory? I didn't. Trouble is, neither did Harry. So to make a massively long and complicated story more manageable:

Harry asked Cho to the Ball.
Cho said Yes.
Harry found out that Cho only said Yes because he's Harry Mavolo.
Harry found out that Cho fancies Cedric and vice-verse.
Harry suggests that Cho go to the Ball with Cedric instead (response pending).
Harry asks me who he should ask if Cho wants to go with Cedric.
Hydra and Millie are ruled out. For different reasons. As is Parvati.
Brocklehurst is pondered as an option.
Which is where you come in.


Do you think Mandy Brocklehurst would want to go with Harry? I reckon you know her a bit from those strange tea events that you go to every so often. Is she still without a date or has someone asked her since I posted my list last night?
alt_draco: (fabulously focused)
Harry, since you've sent her a private message, I'm assuming that Granger has her journal back and can now speak, too.

Granger, that means I'm supposed to Imperius you to say "Master" after every sentence you say or write.

Sorry, but you know there's no choice about this. I figure that making the curse last a few days should be enough, and then it'll be over.

We can do it after breakfast, before our first lesson.

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alt_draco: (Default)
Draco Malfoy

September 2015

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