Draco C. Malfoy

(Practice)

It isn't that you kept a secret - I understand that part. It's WHAT you kept secret. Only everything about yourself, practically It's like in all this time I haven't really known you. I mean the real you. The one who Sally Anne and Weasley know better than I do. And how many bloody private messages exist between you three? ("Fisheye") (Seems you'd rather live with Sally Anne than be married to me, when we're older)

I always thought you loved me best but you don't. And I can't help it I need to be loved best. Just by one person, just one person that I love, too. I always thought it was Mother but now I know she doesn't, and know I know you don't either But then - what's wrong with me? That I need to be loved best? And why did I never see or suspect that there was so much more to you?

I don't know if you really see everything about ME, either, you know. Did you even think about how revealing everything to me would make me feel? How it would shred apart everything I thought I knew? Or did you just want to get it over with so you could finally feel unburdened? At least some her someone thought about how it would make me feel (Strike and don't mention that)

Sometimes, looking back on it, it seems like we've been playing pretend. I thought we could be the perfect couple my parents pretend to be, only we'd be real, but if what they are isn't real then how can it be modeled properly?

I'm just too confused and tired to pretend anymore. I know you're going to be sad and for that I'm sorry, but at least you have others you can turn to. The ones you've always gone to.

Here goes then. Fucking bugger.

Okay, I've been looking at this thing all day waiting for something to happen. I know you said it was for secret messages, Harry, but what sort, exactly?

Are we meant to use it to take the mick on Bumbridge behind her (huge) back?

Or - Granger, since you helped come up with it, does that mean were meant to use it to summon her to us with fresh biccies and tea and things?

No, somehow I doubt that.

So Pansy's got one and Sally Anne and Hydra and who all else, exactly?

So Harry's going to be off with Raz today - they're going to talk quidditch and supposedly Siz will be there, too. I was invited along, but if you're free today then I'd rather spend that time with you.

Plus, it might do Harry good to go off with Raz on his own. He's kind of odd and edgy this term; I think my habit of worrying finally rubbed off on him and I'm not sure that's a good thing. Or maybe it's just that he's so used to have something really clear and specific to focus his worries on, like escapees from Azkaban, or Tri-Wizard tournaments, that he doesn't know what to do without them.

Yesterday was wiz, yeah? Too bad I put all my galleons on Dolohov.

Daphs, I need you to do me a favour, first chance you get.

Girls' loo near the Great Hall - some kind of drawing in there about Pansy. Do whatever you can to get rid of it. I'll owe you a debt.

Did you see that package the Owl brought at supper? Massive, wasn't it? I think that Harrod's clerk I called on the fire must be new, or just nervous about filling an order for Malfoy, because judging from the weight of the box that's going to be a lot more food than what I actually asked for. Not that we'll have any trouble getting people to finish it off. The fifth years are eating a lot, have you noticed? Something to do with studying for OWLs, I suppose.

We'll start setting up after lessons tomorrow. I'll make Harry help me with the decorations, maybe Jeremy, too, and we'll get Vince and Greg to move the common room furniture if we need to. Teds will keep Blaise occupied elsewhere.

Would you two mind coming up with some games or other entertainment ideas, though? I know music and theatre was important back then, so Pansy, maybe we can get out our guitars. But even that can only go on for so long. Charades? Cards? I don't know.

Renaissance - bit of an odd theme, don't you think? Especially coming from Daphs. No wonder Lizzie didn't know what to do with it.

Pansy - see you after I'm done at the library?

May I see you tonight, or do you have some oddball tea party that requires moustaches? Because we don't have duelling club, you know. And my homework can wait.

Because I really would like to see you.

Do you remember when it was that you first started to realise that your Mother was imperfect? I think you must have been young. I remember when we were just firsties, you would write about how Rosa was a drunk. I was so scandalised at the time - though that was back when I was very easily scandalised, mind. Looking back now, though, I think you must have matured a great deal earlier than I did (though I suppose it wasn't precisely mature to write about your Mother's drinking in the journals where everyone could see).

Father and I are having a row. It's somewhat about you, but he doesn't even realise it. Really been paying attention, hasn't he? Not that I particularly want him to start doing so...because when he does, he insists on controlling everything and having a say in every little thing I do. And if he doesn't like what I'm doing or saying, he has this way of just diminishing it. It's as if I can feel him laughing at me through the ink...

I mean, I suppose I'm glad I don't have Harry's Father, instead.

There's that, at least.

Did you know that Cho Chang was seeing Cedric Diggory? I didn't. Trouble is, neither did Harry. So to make a massively long and complicated story more manageable:

Harry asked Cho to the Ball.
Cho said Yes.
Harry found out that Cho only said Yes because he's Harry Mavolo.
Harry found out that Cho fancies Cedric and vice-verse.
Harry suggests that Cho go to the Ball with Cedric instead (response pending).
Harry asks me who he should ask if Cho wants to go with Cedric.
Hydra and Millie are ruled out. For different reasons. As is Parvati.
Brocklehurst is pondered as an option.
Which is where you come in.


Do you think Mandy Brocklehurst would want to go with Harry? I reckon you know her a bit from those strange tea events that you go to every so often. Is she still without a date or has someone asked her since I posted my list last night?

I and some of the others stayed up late last night to make banners and flags for our champions. Most of them are for Harry, seeing as he's from our house, but a few are more general in theme, with the Hogwarts crest and such.

So if you want one, come see me, Pansy, or Sally Anne to see if we have any extra.



GO HARRY! GO SLYTHERIN!
GO HOGWARTS!

Is it true?

Father,

I know you're busy and likely weary of hearing more about either Professor Carrow, but I wanted to make you aware of a situation, particularly as it affects my standing both in class and amongst my peers.

Miss Professor Carrow called up myself and Sally-Anne Perks, Pansy's friend, to do a demonstration yesterday. We were to engage in some fairly uncomplicated duelling while she "distracted" us. I was wary of the situation straight away, because she seemed very excited for it, in an unsettling way, as if she had planned it out well in advance. Sally Anne and I did as instructed, though, until it got to the point where I had backed her into a corner, near a bookcase. At that moment, it felt like I had been hit in the elbow with a curse, and my arm jerked upwards and the hex I was casting hit the bookcase, which then toppled over, right on top of Sally Anne. She had a head injury and a fractured arm. She should recover well, but it looked quite bad in the moment it happened, lots of blood. Pansy was, as you can imagine, well upset when she heard what happened. Beside herself, actually--especially when she heard that something had fallen on Sally Anne and trapped her there while she was helpless and bleeding.

I know that you would caution me against jumping to conclusions when it comes to any adult's motivations, particularly a professor's. I also know that Miss Professor Carrow did warn us that she would be distracting us, and that I should have been prepared for anything. Still, I am convinced that the situation was designed to make me look incompetent and reckless, and to make Pansy feel helpless about the safety of her friends.

Advice would be appreciated. Staying out of their way and trying not to attract their attention is something I've always been mindful of, however, and it doesn't seem to make a difference.

You son,
Draco