Draco C. Malfoy

Hey-

There's something I've been wondering, and you two are the best people I can ask, because I know you're both sentimental about Sirius for different (albeit related) reasons.

Ellie leaped in front of Sirius so he could live, and near as I can tell, that's the only reason he's here now.

Are you glad about that? I mean, I know you aren't happy Ellie's dead, obviously, but when it comes right down to it, would you rather she be dead and Sirius be alive, instead of the reverse?

It's a good thing that 12 Grimmauld is hidden. I've been spending a lot of time staring out the window, even though it's not really like me to sit at windows, staring out. There's a bakery across the street. It seems to be popular, though I've never tried any of their bread or pastry. I don't think I would have eaten there before, because it's not a bakery I've heard of, and not the sort of bakery that most of my mates would go to. But now I keep wishing I could walk over and get a croissant, or something. It would probably be a terrible croissant, but that wouldn't matter. I know I could probably ask Kreacher to walk over and get me one, but that's not really the point. I want it to be me who walks over there, who goes inside and buys a terrible croissant.

Of all the ideas we've discussed, I think the only one that will work is for me to die. My parents need to believe I'm dead. If there's a way for them to think I died loyal, that would be even better, but I don't know if it's possible now. Things will be better for them if it looks as if I were trying to get back to them to tell them all I knew, and got killed along the way.

Better for them temporarily, that is.

And then, after that, I might leave New London. I don't feel like I fit in at Sherwood or Moddey, but that's rather the point.

I've been wondering if part of the reason I wanted to join the Council wasn't because I was oh-so certain I could be useful as a double agent, but because it would mean that my life would be disrupted as little as possible. I would be able to eat at the best restaurants, get invited to the best parties, wear the best robes... I could pretend that I was the dutiful son my parents wanted me to be.

That's not an option any more. None of it is. And sitting in what is essentially my ancestral home, staring out the window, isn't really, either. Yet I keep doing it.

Alright. I don't know what else.

I'm sorry.

You've voiced your faith in me for some time now, and I've let you down in more ways than I can count. I've let us all down. I overestimated myself to immeasurable degrees. I don't know how I can begin to make up for it, but I'll do whatever it takes, without protest.

And the others in the Order, whatever they decide to do with me - it doesn't matter what it is, I'll do it.

I don't know what else to say.

Hi.

Sorry about sending that letter through the colocation box so late. It must've been what, 2 or 3 in the morning? I couldn't sleep until I wrote it.

I should probably also confess that I was still a bit pissed from the party punch when I wrote it. But even so, I meant everything I wrote. It just wasn't necessarily as eloquent as it ought to have been, and possibly had a few misspellings.

I'm not sure what we do now, but talking seems first in order of things.

Well then?

I know you've spoken to her by now, I saw your private message go up.

I don't want you to betray her confidence in any way. I just want to know that she's alright.

So how did the questioning with Raz really go? (It would seem others are too busy welcoming Ginny Weasley to ask for more details.)

Any idea what he'll do to him? Teddy, that is. Because I can't imagine he's pleased about the whole thing. And as genial as Raz typically is, he's still not someone to cross.

Look - I've been thinking about it and I don't even know how you jumped to the conclusions you jumped to, the other day.

It's important for me to know what happened to make you believe I had feelings for Hermione. So if you can specify that for me, I'd appreciate it.

Also, I know how tight you are with Pansy and Weasley, and always have been, since the beginning of this lock. I would also appreciate you not sharing your speculations with them, however tempting it might be.

I thought you should know that Teddy commented on your "unusually bright" demeanor today, even going so far as to suggest that Raz must have accidentally smiled at you when he passed you in the corridors. I told him that Harry had leant you out to Madam Pince to repair books, and that the glue must have addled your head.

I don't have to tell you that you're lucky that he made his observations to me, and not to Blaise or Vince or someone else who would have encouraged his speculations. His macabre sort of intrigue in you doesn't seem to have waned despite Harry's interference - who knows, knowing Teddy, it might have even made it even stronger.

Care to meet me at Blaison before we head to King's Cross? I'd rather not resort to troughing from the dreaded Hogwart's Express trolley, if I can help it.

Hermione, we're back in New London. I don't know if you've heard, but Mother will have to be Hydra's chaperone for the remainder of the summer, so we've had to cut our holiday short. Shame it had to happen before Barty Crouch made one of his "surprise arrivals" at the weekend to liven up the party.

That's not so important, though. Father's informed me that Yaxley put in some kind of request to access my Private Messages. He didn't get what he wanted - Father said he could be looking for anything, be it indiscretions, family secrets, or whatnot. And while Father didn't necessarily say as much I don't imagine that Yaxley has any grudge against me. It's more politics and jockeying for power, no doubt. Still, if he had got his eyes on our writings...well, I shan't finish that unlovely thought. Hardly worth it, is it? Terrible things would have happened... Odd how a person can almost get used to living with a certain kind of constant uncertainty.

Anyway, I already told Harry about all of this, but you ought to know, too. I thought it was Auntie Bella we'd have to be worried about, but I ought to have known she would have shouldered the journals onto somebody else. Hopefully, the Aurors can keep Yaxley out. Better yet, perhaps someone will squash him permanently - and soon.

Also.

I've been thinking about what Hydra's told me about her father - how he must have tracked her or spied on her with one of his devices.

Now, what a lucky thing that it was only her virtue in question, and not her loyalty.

My parents aren't invasive as Hydra's, fortunately, but nevertheless it's a turn of events that, paired with Yaxley's inquiry, has convinced me more than ever that I must maintain an impeccable charade of tow-row-row. Harry, I'll be going to the next Slytherin social, no matter who hosts it. I reckon I'll take Daphs along as my plus-one again, since it worked well enough last time. Might be good if you made an appearance now and then, too. Or else I can tell everyone that you're very busy working closely with your "Dad," if you prefer - that'd certainly stop any questions.