Order Only

[alt_draco]

The castle's secret room has conjured up a full bar and I've been practising making every cocktail that Russell Faust himself has ever served at the Elysian.

This includes the members' favourites, like Cad Mulciber's Vauxhall single malt (neat), Cal Pummel's lager, Pandora Baddock's vodka martini (up with a twist), and Rowle's pimm's cup (in summer, hot toddy in winter), and on and on and on.

I'm going to start living as Faust tomorrow, so this evening I'm running a final test of my bar skills and memory. If anyone wants to come by the secret room and pretend to be a thirsty pureblood twat, I'm sure it would help me out a great deal. I should note in advance that I'll be in full polyjuice or the occasion, and Russell Faust will be standing by to observe.

Comments

[alt_hydra]

I'll come.

I'm curious, though, what does Faust say my parents' favourite drinks are?

[alt_draco]

Your father enjoys at least four different brands of whiskey, of which the Elysian usually on has two of in stock. He prefers it on the rocks if he's just run the course, and neat if he's just there to socialise.

You mother only ever orders soda water on ice with three parchment-thin slices of lemon. I've been told that making the lemon slices very thin is crucial.

Faust's notes indicate that your mother hasn't been in to the Elysian in months, though, while your father still comes round weekly.

Sort of makes me wonder - does she ever leave Buckingham at all? Maybe that's the sort of thing I'll learn once I'm undercover.

[alt_hydra]

I can see why she wouldn't want her movements followed by the public. She knows that her presence is still associated with the Lord Protector and other generally awful things.

But I suppose its good that she's not coming into the club these days. I know you can occlude around her but she's probably in a hyper-vigilant state.

[alt_draco]

Faust says she was terrifying whenever she came in to run the course. Always looked like she was ready to commit a murder or two. So he always kept very thin lemon slices on hand, just in case.

[alt_hermione]

Do we have to taste them? Because I could pretend to order something but I don't think I could tell you if you made it right.

[alt_draco]

You don't have to if you don't care to. But Russell will be looming in the background, ready to correct me if I add too much simple syrup or something.

You might like watching, anyway. Some of it's a bit like a very simplified form of potion-making. Like muddling oranges with a pestle or measuring out just a few drops of bitters. And then there are some members who actually request a restorative potion alongside their drink - I won't be expected to prepare those, though. Just serve them.

[alt_sirius]

As Albion's resident corrupter-in-chief, Hermione, I highly recommend you go and take at least a taste of every sort of cocktail we can conceive. You might discover what you like in the process. Besides, it's likely healthy to test Draco to his limits by coming up with all the drinks he might be expected to prepare and then some.

[alt_draco]

We could set out a spittoon, if people are worried about getting utterly pissed. You know, like they have at wine tasting events.

[alt_bill]

I'll come by, Draco. Not to drink much but I can volunteer to play some of the Elysian members (the ones I know the most about) to give you an opportunity to practise your impersonation.

Thanks for taking this project on. I've no doubt you'll do it spot on.

[alt_draco]

Cheers, it's appreciated.

[alt_charlie]

I'll come and drink the cock-ups.

[alt_draco]

I'm actually aiming for zero cock-ups, seeing as I have to do this at the real Elysian tomorrow night.

[alt_charlie]

Sorry, joke. Bad timing.

[alt_draco]

I'll make you a cock-up if that's what you really want.

[alt_charlie]

Let's just say I'll drink anything nobody else has claimed.

[alt_pansy]

I'll be there! I'm sure you'll do fabulously.

[alt_draco]

Cheers, though I'd be satisfied with 'competently.'

[alt_ron]

I'm in. If Pansy's getting pissed, I want to be there!


D'you know how to measure a Morgana's Merkin?

[alt_draco]

Is that an actual drink or the opening of a filthy joke?

[alt_ron]

Probably both, now you mention it.

It's a real drink some of the Auror blokes liked. Smells manky, but gets you proper pissed.

[alt_draco]

Really? It's not on Faust's list. What's in it?

Or you can just show me tonight, if that's better.

[alt_ron]

Bunch of different kinds of bitters and some sort of digestive that looks like chocolate syrup but smells of feet, mixed with vermouth and brandy.

All I know is it tastes better than this other thing Catchlove was always ordering called a Manky Hanky.


Gives you an idea what that training was like.

[alt_draco]

Lad's humour, you mean. Yeah, I reckon I'll be party to loads of that at Elysian, despite the fact that there are women who are members. And from my position as Faust, expected to respond with quiet and nearly undetectable approval.

[alt_ron]

You know, I don't have the slightest worry about you pulling that off.

Me, they'd find out in the first half hour.

[alt_fred]

We'll swing by.

We don't have much of our WWW stock left, Draco. But anything we do have that you think might help, just say the word and it's yours. We have Extendable Ears, for example, with extra long cords. Run the cord underneath the bar, and you can eavesdrop on a conversation down at the other end. Peruvian Instant Darkness powder, if something's gone bugger-all and you have to make a quick getaway, that might be useful, too. We'll bring a kit up--Russell might have an idea whether any of it could be helpful to you.

[alt_draco]

Extendable ears sound risky. If they were glimpsed the whole club would be turned upside down. Darkness powder could be useful, though.

[alt_fred]

We won't push anything on you that you (or Russell) think would be too risky, promise.