Order Only - Private message to Harry

[alt_draco]

Alright? I heard about the Notts visit to Buckingham. Can't believe that you passed up the chance to Cruciate Teds, but I suppose it sends a better message that you resisted. Plus, how humiliating for him to get it in front of everyone from his own father, yeah? I would know.

Anyway, I've been meaning to speak with you about how things are going with Katie Bell. It's obvious to everyone that she's not keen on being one of the challengers, and knowing you, you're probably suffering massive guilt and blaming yourself for her having been chosen to begin with.

What I'm really wondering, though, is - do you care about her? I don't mean deep friendship, either, but real caring, the kind where you can actually see all the seriously flawed and even annoying things about her, and still think she's pretty brilliant. I mean, do you love her? Or something close to that? Because I need to know before I tell you about the idea I've had.

I was talking to Hermione about it, earlier. I couldn't get her to say whether it was a good or a bad idea, and then we ended up talking about something else and I don't know, she might be upset, or something. I'm not sure. Does she seem fine?

Comments

[alt_harry]

Well, first off, Hermione seems okay to me. Just thoughtful. And annoyed, but it's the usual amount of annoyed. Not like she's hurt, or sad, or anything like that. I asked if she was all right, and she said, 'Oh, honestly, I'm fine,' and sort of rolled her eyes a bit.

What did you

Is there anything I ought to know about?

Or, you know, whatever. It's okay. If she wants to tell me, she will.

And yeah. It was weird with Nott.

I figure if I let Crabbe and Goyle do my dirty work, I should keep it up. I could tell he was used to it. And he said all the right things, said he'd learned his lesson, but I know he didn't mean it.

[alt_draco]

I think I hacked her off by being myself, as usual. But I'm used to it now, so.

Yeah, I'm sure Nott Sr. doesn't go light on the cardinals when it suits him. We'll just have to see how Teddy acts after hols. Or during the party at Spence House.

As for the other business, take your time.

[alt_harry]

And.

Um.

Yeah.

It's sort of

Okay.

I guess I've been thinking about it since she got chosen. About what we are and all. Siz and Raz talked about it some too. Like I had a decision to make. They invited us over to tea at Spence so we could talk.

The way I figure it, we used to do stuff together because it was fun, and she was nice, and didn't get too scared off by all the gossip and stuff, and it was good for her and good for me. And when this contest happened, it wasn't fun any more and it wasn't good for her either.

I really like her. A lot. But.

I don't know if I could really love her like that. Let her get close. Because it just wouldn't be safe, or fair, and I don't know if I'm going to I don't know how she'd

it was sort of nice to have something normal. As normal as it could be. You know.

But I'd rather she was safe. And happy. And she wouldn't be either one with me.

And that's another problem. Siz said I needed to stop making decisions about the two of us and actually talk to her about it instead of assuming. But I'm playing with more cards than she is, and I don't know if I could let her see my hand.

So no.

I don't love her.

[alt_harry]

But if the plan means hurting her or something

Like really hurting her

I don't think I can do that.

[alt_draco]

Well, consider yourself lucky, then. It would make everything three or thirty or three thousand times harder, if you did. Love her, I mean.

Yeah, forget Siz. Her advice is well-meaning but she doesn't know a thing about the multitude of secrets you're harbouring.

Are you thinking of ending it, then?

[alt_harry]

I guess it's either get a lot more serious, to make it clear that means hands off, or split up. But in a way that made sure everyone knew I wasn't hacked off.

And yeah. The first option might put an even bigger target on her, and I'd have to lie a lot. Or tell her everything. Which, no.

[alt_draco]

If you are resigned to the idea of ending things for her, for her own continued safety, then I have a proposal:

Once things are settled with Bell, ask out Hydra. You don't have to be serious with each other. You can just be friends who carry on as if you're dating. if that's what you both want. It would be beneficial to both your image, and hers. And in the case of Hydra, since Bellatrix won't let her out unless you've invited her, it would give her a good deal more freedom. Not to mention that it would put Teddy in his place, seeing as he's been panting after Hydra ever since she and F-F broke up.

I know you don't think of her that way, but you'd never have to lie to her. There's something valuable in that, isn't there?

[alt_harry]

I thought about it last night.

Yeah.

Okay.

I'd want to make sure it'd be all right with Justin and Hydra though.

[alt_draco]

I understand your desire to have F-F's blessing, but it's Hydra who will be most affected by this, in the end. So I'd address it with her, first.