Private message to Pansy

[alt_draco]

I told Blaise that I have an essay to write, and that's why I'm not down in the common room celebrating. I've gone to the library, instead. So if anyone else asks, could you just tell them that I spent so much time working on the banners and flags that I got behind in my homework?

Father's furious with me. Harry, too. He almost seemed as angry as he was when we freed that stupid hippogriff. I suppose in that case I'm lucky that all he did was order me to write an essay on the inferiority of mudbloods. Normally that would be easy enough, but he says if it's not thorough or convincing that he's going to talk to Mr Tenebridge about taking my name off the credits for "Hey, Hey Merlin." He also said I have to Anyway, hopefully that won't happen.

Harry's been punished too, by the way. But I wouldn't ask him about it, if I were you.

Comments

[alt_draco]

I really need to make this essay a stunner, I reckon, so I'd best spend a little more time on it. Alone, I mean.

No, it wasn't pleasant. And I can't help but be hacked off at Harry, even if it isn't entirely fair to feel that way. Only I can't even tell you how many times I've told him that he's way too familiar with Granger, and how it's only going to hurt HER in the long run. You'd think that having seen her Cruciated after the hippogriff would have made that sink in, but it didn't. He can be so bloody thick. And he grew up at Buckingham and saw the things that happened there, too...there's just no excuse for being that thick.

Well, now he's really done it. Because while his own father might be too busy to care about how he treats his mudblood, mine is really, really angry and he's not going to forget about this anytime soon.

[alt_pansy]

Well, if you must work on it this weekend, we can do something special next weekend at Hogsmeade to make up for it a bit.

It's all right to be hacked off, you know.

I mean, I understand why you would be.

And you're right. It is thick of him. It's sort of... well... it's obvious that if he doesn't want her to get punished, or you to get punished, then of course he shouldn't let her call him that like that. It's not safe proper. And people pay attention to what he says and does, and what she says and does too because she's his, so they have to be even more proper than anyone else would be.

But then again, I'd imagine that he wouldn't care nearly so much about her not getting punished if they weren't familiar, would he?

[alt_draco]

Yeah, that sounds good. I guess he forgot we had Hogsmeade coming up, or else he probably would have told me I wasn't allowed to go.

I don't think it's that Harry doesn't regularly punish Granger, it's more that he doesn't maintain any sort of boundaries between them at all. He wants to believe she's his friend, but no matter how much he wants to believe that, she can't be. You can't make someone you own be your friend.

You know, I didn't even notice when she started calling him "Harry" and he started calling her "Hermione." I should have spoken up more then, but I reckon he would have said "you're right" and then gone on doing as he pleases, anyway, because it makes him feel better about owning her if he can call her by her given name and act like she's a normal person.

[alt_pansy]

I think you're right about that last part. That he's trying to feel better about it.

And I could see how it might be confusing sometimes to be around someone who is supposed to be nice to you and look out for you and help you and all, and think that they're doing it because they want to instead of because they have to.

Do you think she is just pretending for all of it?

It's hard to tell sometimes. I mean, I don't really talk to her at all, but she seems to be quite devoted.

[alt_draco]

She doesn't really have to pretend with Harry, though, if you see how it is. She does menial things like fetch his belongings because it's the bare minimum of what everyone else would expect, and those menial things are also what I think he's comfortable having her do, because he's always had someone around to do them for him, hasn't he?

So she's not that devoted. On the surface, sure, but not deep down. Not like Dennis, say, who didn't have any idea who he was beyond being a mudblood.

[alt_pansy]

Well, maybe you could talk to her about it?

I mean, she's not an entire idiot, you know? I'm sure she'd be able to reason out that it's in her own best interest to keep some proper boundaries, even if Harry doesn't see it that way. And if she's proper, then no matter what he did, she'd be much more likely to stay out of trouble.

[alt_draco]

I know she's not She's less of an idiot than Harry, at least. I don't know if you saw, but the summer before last, she and Harry had a row in the journals. She was calling him "sire" and Harry was telling her to "come off it," and it was pretty obvious (to me, anyway) that she was trying to at least keep up the facade of being a groveling slave, but Harry didn't seem to get what she was doing at all. And I know that she's told him to call her Granger, not Hermione, but he never remembers and she probably doesn't push it because he's Harry Marvolo and if he says it's okay, then maybe it is, right?

Except it's not. It's him who's got to learn to set the boundaries, because...well, he's the one with all the power. Even though he likes to sit back and pretend he hasn't got any, he does.

But he doesn't listen to me, even though I feel like all I do is follow him around trying to get him to not do something to get either me or Granger cruciated. I'm not sure who he listens to, if anyone.

[alt_pansy]

That's just it, isn't it? That he doesn't want to be responsible, or recognise that he does have power even if he does? I mean, for someone who is the most important student at the school, he certainly doesn't seem to like attention, and he gets angry when people try and treat him like he's someone special even though he is.

I mean, that's why he didn't want to do the tournament, right?

So I think it's more than just Granger and how he treats her. Or. Maybe that's how he shows he's unhappy with it all. Like... treating her all familiar is one of the only things he can do to sort of be contrary, even though it's going to hurt her, and hurt you. Which is utterly backwards and I don't know if it makes any sense, but it sort of did when I started writing it.

And you're right, if she has to tell him what to do, that would not be on.

[alt_draco]

Sooner or later, he's going to have to start dealing with the fact that he's the most important teenager in the Protectorate; pretending doesn't change anything. What is, is.

I wonder what he would say if I told him that, though.

There's definitely a part of him that likes to tempt trouble, but in a brainless way instead of a crafty way, you know? I think he's trying to figure out a way to make his father realise that he can't REALLY control Harry. Which, yeah, that's not going to happen. Ever.

[alt_pansy]

Yeah.

I can see how that would be frustrating for you.

[alt_draco]

Sorry, I'm whinging again.

I'm working on the essay now that supper's over. Father wants it by tomorrow or else "Hey, Hey Merlin" is all yours. There could be worse things, I suppose?

It's a good thing I can write for inches and inches about how inferior mudbloods are. Those first few years of muggle studies were good for something, at least.

Speaking of, I might have to have a talk with Granger about all of this - next week, when she's allowed to talk again. I think I can get her on my side and if we approach Harry together, well, maybe we'll get somewhere.

[alt_pansy]

Who knew the Carrows would be useful for something?

Talking to her does sound like a start.

And I'll have you know that even if your name isn't on there properly, it's still yours and mine. At least that's how I'll always think about it.

[alt_draco]

I've a feeling that part of the reason father threatened to take my name off it is because he doesn't approve of my playing guitar in the first place.

I guess that's just my way of being contrary, heh.

[alt_pansy]

And don't be silly.

I'd much rather think of it as "confiding" rather than "whinging." You can confide in me whenever you want. I don't mind one bit.

I'm just glad you find me worth confiding in.

[alt_draco]

Likewise, I hope you know.

So. Next time we go to Hogsmeade, let me buy you a butterbeer, yeah? And maybe we could go

[alt_pansy]

I'd like that.