Private message to Pansy Parkinson
Sep. 25th, 2010 09:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alt_dracoPansy-
I've tried a few times to start this now but as there's really no subtle way to do so, I'm just going to come out with it. I don't know why you're so chummy with Weasley and Longbottom and I don't really care. There are a million reasons why you shouldn't be friends with them but I'm sure you've heard them all from my Father, so I'll spare you the lecture. Mostly, I just want you to know that you do have friends in Slytherin House. And more than just Perks, at that.
The only people I remember knowing from a very, very young age are Harry, and you. Hydra came later, of course, but still that's just a total of three people. No matter how many friendships and acquaintances I forge while at Hogwarts, none of them will know me the way that you lot do. You know that I hate fish because of what happened when I was learning to fly, with the pond and the sticklebacks. You know about the time I accidentally killed one of the peacock chicks at our Manor because you helped me bury it in the garden. (I really did think that it's neck was the handle, and that you were just supposed to carry it that way.) And because you know me, you know I have to put Harry first. It's always been that way and it probably won't ever change. But that doesn't mean I've forgotten you.
Remember when I said that I think you would make a good song-writer? I meant it, too, because you're good with words, and you have a keen eye and ear for things that most people would overlook. What I'm saying is that I've come to realise that you're curious about the world, about things and people that are outside the realm of usual experience. I don't think that I share that particular trait, but I do understand it. Or, okay, I'm trying to, at least.
Trying is a start, isn't it?
-Draco
I've tried a few times to start this now but as there's really no subtle way to do so, I'm just going to come out with it. I don't know why you're so chummy with Weasley and Longbottom and I don't really care. There are a million reasons why you shouldn't be friends with them but I'm sure you've heard them all from my Father, so I'll spare you the lecture. Mostly, I just want you to know that you do have friends in Slytherin House. And more than just Perks, at that.
The only people I remember knowing from a very, very young age are Harry, and you. Hydra came later, of course, but still that's just a total of three people. No matter how many friendships and acquaintances I forge while at Hogwarts, none of them will know me the way that you lot do. You know that I hate fish because of what happened when I was learning to fly, with the pond and the sticklebacks. You know about the time I accidentally killed one of the peacock chicks at our Manor because you helped me bury it in the garden. (I really did think that it's neck was the handle, and that you were just supposed to carry it that way.) And because you know me, you know I have to put Harry first. It's always been that way and it probably won't ever change. But that doesn't mean I've forgotten you.
Remember when I said that I think you would make a good song-writer? I meant it, too, because you're good with words, and you have a keen eye and ear for things that most people would overlook. What I'm saying is that I've come to realise that you're curious about the world, about things and people that are outside the realm of usual experience. I don't think that I share that particular trait, but I do understand it. Or, okay, I'm trying to, at least.
Trying is a start, isn't it?
-Draco
no subject
Date: 2010-09-26 12:54 am (UTC)I've read this over and over again today, which is why it's taken me ages to write back. It really does mean a lot to hear that you still think of me as a friend, because I miss you too. Lots. I know, I know, girly sentiment, blah blah blah. But I'm a girl, so I'm allowed.
And I really do mean it.
Trying is a great start. And I'll try to understand where you're coming from better too. Because friendship, real friendship, it takes work, and I'll be the first to admit that I haven't been making enough of an effort with you either. And you're so right. We've known each other since we were babies, and even though we've had our share of disagreements and haven't been as close as we used to be, I've always thought of you as my very first friend, and I haven't stopped caring about you. I know Harry comes first, and I'm okay with that. But if what you're saying is that you're willing to make a bit more of an effort, well, so am I. Because I think it's worth it.
Do you know how utterly nift it was to go out in the Forbidden Forest and fight those spiders? Honestly, I mean, I know we were in danger of getting eaten, but it was still brilliant. And it was mostly brilliant because I got to go through it with you. And it reminded me of when we would pretend to fight the topiaries in your gardens, only it was real, and it was almost like it used to be for a little. And I'd like that again, only this time, without the giant spiders. If you could manage that.
I've still got some revising to do tonight, but would you be up for something tomorrow? I haven't heard you play your guitar yet, and I'd love to.
--Pansy.
no subject
Date: 2010-09-27 02:18 am (UTC)I'm glad I found you today so we could talk more in person, even if it was mostly about music.
I'm not sure Mother likes my playing guitar, I think she's worried I'll stop drawing and painting, and it's always been her that I've sent most of my drawings to, so you see how that goes. But the difference is that I like drawing and painting in a serious way, really studying it and trying out different techniques, and with guitar it's mostly for fun. For now, anyway.
I really do want to see your song, though. Maybe we could come up with some music to go with it, chords and things. Oh, and if you ever want to try out my guitar yourself you can, of course. It really belongs to Father but I know he won't mind if you borrow it.
I remember the topiaries, the topiaries were brilliant. The Forbidden Forest, not so much. Maybe it was different for me, though. The whole time I was thinking about something bad happening to Harry, as usual, but there was you to worry about, too. It was sort of exciting to think about the experience after the fact, but in that particular moment I was too busy being weighted down with dread.
That's what I meant when I said that I'm not curious about things outside the realm of usual experience. Or I'd much rather just imagine about those things than actually experience them. Which is why we have art and music and such in the first place, really.
I'm pretty sure the Razzer is going to get duelling club going again. I overheard Professor Acton at supper, volunteering to help him out. Too bad, I bet he was really hoping that Professor Sinistra would volunteer instead!
-Draco
no subject
Date: 2010-09-27 03:37 am (UTC)The duelling club will be ace. I'm pants at it, but it's still fun to try, and cheer on other people.
It's funny, isn't it, how we could experience the same thing so differently? I remember I kept feeling like I wanted to laugh the whole time, and there you were, worried about the rest of us. And what's more, when we were all out there together, I felt like it was the first time in a long time that I didn't feel weighted down with dread. Maybe because I knew you were there to keep me safe. Or because I didn't have to dwell on all the things I was worried about, and could focus on doing something instead.
And maybe your mum isn't terribly keen because she didn't study it herself? Or she doesn't see it as having the same sort of merit as a more classic instrument? But if you keep it as something for fun and don't make noises about becoming the next Rhys Morgan, I'll bet she'll be fine. And it would be brilliant to work out the song together. I've been stuck on the chorus for ages, and I don't want to show it to you just yet until I've had a chance to work on it some more first, but if I keep getting stuck, I might need help getting unstuck, so there's that.
And it was fun to try out the chords. It made my fingers hurt, though, and just after trying a few! You must have to build up calluses or something with practice. Either that, or I'm quite a baby when it comes to manual labour.