I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good - Private message to Draco Malfoy

[alt_draco]

(Practice)

It isn't that you kept a secret - I understand that part. It's WHAT you kept secret. Only everything about yourself, practically It's like in all this time I haven't really known you. I mean the real you. The one who Sally Anne and Weasley know better than I do. And how many bloody private messages exist between you three? ("Fisheye") (Seems you'd rather live with Sally Anne than be married to me, when we're older)

I always thought you loved me best but you don't. And I can't help it I need to be loved best. Just by one person, just one person that I love, too. I always thought it was Mother but now I know she doesn't, and know I know you don't either But then - what's wrong with me? That I need to be loved best? And why did I never see or suspect that there was so much more to you?

I don't know if you really see everything about ME, either, you know. Did you even think about how revealing everything to me would make me feel? How it would shred apart everything I thought I knew? Or did you just want to get it over with so you could finally feel unburdened? At least some her someone thought about how it would make me feel (Strike and don't mention that)

Sometimes, looking back on it, it seems like we've been playing pretend. I thought we could be the perfect couple my parents pretend to be, only we'd be real, but if what they are isn't real then how can it be modeled properly?

I'm just too confused and tired to pretend anymore. I know you're going to be sad and for that I'm sorry, but at least you have others you can turn to. The ones you've always gone to.

Here goes then. Fucking bugger.